Weighty compliments and insults

What is the best compliment a person can receive? Apparently “you have lost weight” seems to be the finest flattering remark in this era of weight obsession. On the same analogy “you have put on weight” is the worst smear ever.

How would a person know whether the other has lost or gained weight by just looking at them (and usually after a considerable time gap) is beyond me. I can think of some methods with which one could achieve this, but each of them seems as improbable as the other. Let me elucidate:

Date X – When Person A meets Person B:

1. A lifts B bodily and ascertains the weight and commits it to memory
2. A always carries a weighing machine and on Date X measures the weight and jots it down in his weight book against the persons name and date
3. A has the ability to discern the weight just by looking B, an ability that most of us seem to possess.

Date Y – When Person A meets Person B (after a considerable time gap)

A repeats any of the above techniques of weight determination and compares it to come to irrefutable conclusion that B has either lost or gained weight

Pay particular attention to the words “person”, “flatter” and “smear” employed above.

Though I generalise by the use of the word “person”, its applicability relates to a large extent to the fairer sex, however men are increasingly showing a tendency to blush at this compliment.

As per recent statistics 80% of the people who use the expression "you have lost weight" are

1. not as weightier as the other person AND

2. use the expression as conversation starter or to "flatter".

Also 85% of the people who use the slanderous "you have gained weight" are consumed by the "green eyed monster"!