My trip to Goa with two……... Part 2 (pls read part 1 first)

To describe me as utterly shocked to the core is like throwing a dart as close to the bulls eye as possible. One can also describe me as spellbound and speechless partially because Mr. Manikant, who seemed to share my feelings, in his booming voice pounded questions at the driver who also looked shocked by the influx of so many queries. I guess Mr. Mohit was not shocked because he sat motionless, oblivious of what was going on with his huge tinted sunglasses on. May be he was taking a nap!

After the barrage of questions the hapless driver was finding it difficult to drive on the already damaged highway. The answers given by the driver did not elicit any new information.

“I was right, wasn’t I?” the pessimist resurfaced again. “It’s not as bad as it looks like, you still have your phone, internet and some books. They should keep you afloat for the next week” the optimist always seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

We reached the client location after travelling 20 minutes from the Goa-Karnataka border. The entry gate was unassuming. The moment we entered the factory premises, a cold breeze swept into from the car’s air conditioning on to my face, silence engulfed the vehicle different from the silence during the 2.5 hrs ride, a distinct peace settled into my heart, the surroundings could have inspired Robert Frost to pen something immortal. Involuntarily I reached for phone and to my horror I found there was no network. The cold breeze withdrew, silence during the ride took its rightful place again, the peace which settled itself on false pretences was kicked out and Robert Frost would not have dreamed of entering such a place.

“There is no network here!!” I blurted out.

“Only BSNL phones work here, sir” the driver said.

“I don’t use a mobile phone. People become slaves of mobiles.” declared Mr. Manikant.

“Only BSNL, shit man” I cried out

“Everybody has a mobile phone these days; they pay money to get enslaved, to loose their independence.” interpolated Mr. Manikant again.

“Only BSNL, are u sure” I asked driver, in a tone which in itself was the answer to the question I posed. The driver sympathetically nodded his head, to indicate that I was not the first one.

“Addiction……young people get addicted to mobiles. In my days the landline was only a mode of communication” concluded you know who.

First mode of transportation, now mode of communication. Before I could think of any other modes, I realised with yet another shock that no network meant no internet, since I used my phone to connect to the net. Despair…….yes despair would just about sum up my situation.

For the next three days, my elderly colleagues did what they did best and I did what I don’t do the best, which is, appreciating the greenery around, enjoying the tranquility of the place, soliloquizing, gazing at office furniture and stuff like that. At the end of the third day, while having my dinner, a brilliant thought stuck me – what if I can go back to Hyderabad (my home town) for the weekend, instead of travelling back to Delhi. The more I thought about it, the more plausible it seemed and before I finished my dinner, my spirits were on a new high.

Next day was beautiful. I could hear the birds chirping, experienced a gentle breeze and I heard Mr. Mohit talk. Just when things were going great, I was informed that Kapil was trying to get in touch with me. With a definite feeling of foreboding I dialed Kapil’s number. The long and short of the phone call, which you might have already guessed is not good news, is that ‘we’ have to go to Bhuj in Gujrat to another factory, for three more days.

What does a man do when his hopes are crushed and has to look forward to few more days of dread and horror? He sulks. And that’s what I did; I sulked for the whole day, succumbed to the inevitable and landed in Bhuj on Sunday morning.

What is the first thing, which comes to your mind when you hear about Bhuj. Yes….earthquakes! And what are the odds of an earthquake on Monday morning when I am fast asleep? At about 5 in the morning, an earthquake measuring 4.8 on the Richter scale (for the information of readers, no damage to property or life was reported) shook Bhuj. A nice ‘Welcome to Bhuj’ gift, isn’t it?

This client location had the almost the same characteristics of the previous one with one exception. Unlike Karwar which was endowed with ample greenery, Bhuj was totally dry. Only weeds grew in abundance in Bhuj. From experiencing a new high a few days back, my spirits plummeted to a new low during these days. But all was not lost; I could still go to Hyderabad this weekend if I was not sent to another godforsaken place, though I was not too optimistic about it and who can blame me?

My fear was not misplaced when Mr. Manikant cornered me on the third day at Bhuj and informed me that we were going to Jamnagar next for ‘only’ two days. Compared to all previous blows, this piece of news was taken by me pretty well; the primary reason being he also asked me to book the tickets for Delhi on Saturday.

Two days in Jamnagar were a mere blur; with ticket to Hyderabad (I booked a ticket to Hyderabad instead of Delhi) in my hand, I entered the airport on Saturday. Could anything go wrong from here? I asked myself. Looking back at the two weeks anything could happen, but it seemed that gods were in a happy mood over the weekend partying somewhere in the heavens.

I spent two days blissfully in Hyderabad and on Monday evening I was on the flight back to Delhi. What I was about to face in Delhi was nothing compared to the last two weeks. But that’s another story!!

Epilogue: I like the word ‘Epilogue’ and that’s the reason I am writing one and whether this is an epilogue or not I have no idea. When I landed in Hyderabad I realised that Mr. Mohit had never been with us in Jamnagar. Back in Delhi I was told that he returned after the trip to Bhuj.

My trip to Goa with two……..

Rrrrrrrr……..rrrrrrr…… my phone started vibrating. I was attending this extremely boring “induction” programme, conducted for new joiners by my employer, on a Friday. Torn between the desire to sleep till the programme ends and to get out of the hall, I stepped outside the hall wondering who’s the caller, since the number was not stored in my phone book.

“Hello” I said

“Hello Nrupesh, this is Kapil from Valuation. You need to go to Goa for a week with two others for an assignment.”

The phrase “Goa for week” transported me directly to the beaches of Goa, bikini clad women, water sports and what not. What Kapil said next I don’t remember, but I exactly recollect my responses….. “hmmmm”, “ok”, “achha”, “sure”.

Have you read Lemony Snicket’s “A series of unfortunate events”? Even if you haven’t read it, the title is suggestive enough. Little did I know that sleeping would have been a much better option than taking the call.

With the tickets in my hand on Saturday, I was all set to go to Goa. I got another call from Kapil and he explained me that I have to accompany an engineer and an architect and my work would involve only coordinating with client, which seemed to increase my anticipation multifold..... little work means more time to spare and that too in Goa. “It is too good to be true Nrupesh”, the pessimistic in me tried to warn me but I paid little heed to it.

I landed at Goa on Monday morning. My colleagues who were flying in from Coimbatore, were to join me in an hour. I was waiting outside the airport reading a book when somebody tapped me on my shoulder. I turned around and my eyes met an elderly man in a safari suit, who I vaguely remember seeing him somewhere, but couldn’t place him at that moment.

“Are you from ABC consulting?” He asked

“Yeah” I replied, a little puzzled

“I am Manikant, K.L Manikant” he said as if that solved the puzzle. I know that I am quite popular in Hyderabad and wouldn’t be astonished if something of this sort had happened there. But was I that popular in Goa too? Unlikely. The only dreaded logical conclusion I could jump to was that he was one of my colleague. He was rotund and spoke with authority which would make a lesser man cower behind the suitcase. Trusting my logical ability, I said

“Hello Mr. Manikant, I am Nrupesh. Where is Mr……….”

“Mr. Mohit is with the luggage trolley. Where is our mode of transportation?”

How the hell would I know where our “mode” is? I said I would search for the placards and then comeback in a moment. There were no placards with our names on and that I conveyed it to Mr. Manikant who was now flanked by another elderly person, who could be none other than Mr. Mohit. Mr. Mohit was exactly the opposite of Mr. Manikant, not exactly “Laurel and Hardy” types, but close enough. I was not mistaken when he greeted me, his “hello” was similar to a “hello” spoken from a flawed flute, as opposed to the booming “I am Manikant”. I called up Kapil and our “mode” was going to be a little late. We waited in silence for the vehicle. “One week in Goa with two oldies for company” snickered my pessimistic friend. “But its Goa dude” assured my optimistic pal.

Within 20 minutes, I was nestled in the front seat of an Indica with the relics in the back seat.

“How far is the hotel from here?” I asked the driver expecting it to be not more than half an hour.

To this question the driver replied somewhat confused “We are going to the Company guest house sir. Its in Karwar in Karnataka, 120 Km from here and will take at least 2.5 hrs because the road is not good as it used to be a month back”

To be continued…..

I always try to use my literary skill (however lamentable it maybe) to come up with new posts and I don't copy stuff. But i had to put this in my blog. This article appeared in "Deccan Chronicle" a daily in Hyderabad around 10 years ago and I found it extremely hilarious and if this article doesn't reach a wider audience it would be a pity..... Read on

This Angrezi is Crazy

There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write, but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce, and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth? One goose, two geese. So, one moose, two meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose?

If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital? Ship by truck, and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?

And why do they call it a “building” if it was ALREADY built!

When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out, and an alarm clock goes off by going on. When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.

Author: some one really great!

Weighty compliments and insults

What is the best compliment a person can receive? Apparently “you have lost weight” seems to be the finest flattering remark in this era of weight obsession. On the same analogy “you have put on weight” is the worst smear ever.

How would a person know whether the other has lost or gained weight by just looking at them (and usually after a considerable time gap) is beyond me. I can think of some methods with which one could achieve this, but each of them seems as improbable as the other. Let me elucidate:

Date X – When Person A meets Person B:

1. A lifts B bodily and ascertains the weight and commits it to memory
2. A always carries a weighing machine and on Date X measures the weight and jots it down in his weight book against the persons name and date
3. A has the ability to discern the weight just by looking B, an ability that most of us seem to possess.

Date Y – When Person A meets Person B (after a considerable time gap)

A repeats any of the above techniques of weight determination and compares it to come to irrefutable conclusion that B has either lost or gained weight

Pay particular attention to the words “person”, “flatter” and “smear” employed above.

Though I generalise by the use of the word “person”, its applicability relates to a large extent to the fairer sex, however men are increasingly showing a tendency to blush at this compliment.

As per recent statistics 80% of the people who use the expression "you have lost weight" are

1. not as weightier as the other person AND

2. use the expression as conversation starter or to "flatter".

Also 85% of the people who use the slanderous "you have gained weight" are consumed by the "green eyed monster"!

What would happen if Indian Cricket Team were consistent?

Has anybody wondered what would happen if India keeps winning game after game after game! I know its ludicrous even to think of such a situation. But still.. if by some miracle the Indian team triumphs in every encounter what would be the likely result.... imagine two erstwhile cricket lovers taking about India's win in the recent world cup (for god sake ...just imagine for a moment) where they routed all the teams

Erstwhile Cricket Lover No.1 : "Read the news paper today"
Erstwhile Cricket Lover No.2 : "Ya, the news about doctors removing a worm out of woman's eye was bewildering"
Erstwhile Cricket Lover No.1 : "That was incredible, talk about the advances made by man in medical surgery and women getting worms into their eyes. Anyway, I was alluding to the recent India's Win"
Erstwhile Cricket Lover No. 2 : yawn..."Yes....they win..." yawning continues "again....what are you doing today? how about a movie or ....lets go some place nice" ('some place nice' is restaurant in Hyderabad)

How many people stand to loose if India doesnt loose? Let me try to make a list

1. The Cricketers
2. BCCI
3. The ICC
4. The Sponsors
5. People who manage Cricket Stadiums
6. Cricket Website
7. Commentators
I am sure they are some more...will update it when my readers give their opinion
Contribution by Vineet http://www.betweenthedoors.blogspot.com

1 - The rival teams (no need to be a genius to figure this out)
2 - Self Styled Critics (especially old Indian team cricket players)
and of course
3 - The Satta Guys



With some many people standing to loose....India winning consistently is a pipe dream!!

Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows

Date: July 22, 2007 10:20 AM
Caution: Not for muggles and not too long.
After just 4 hrs of sleep.....sleep? I wonder whether i really slept for these 4 hrs. I completed the book at 5 AM and trying to extricate myself from Hogwarts seemed impossible. Images of the last scenes were still swimming in my head, only the "Draught of Living Death" could put me to a sound sleep.

Two years has definitely been worth the wait for me and, for i guess, for most of them who revel in the magical world of Harry Potter. I now realise how I feel now....exactly like some one at the end of an immensely exciting and long roller coaster ride.

After 3 previous books, its a relief that the last book unlike its predecessors did not end in sorrow and grief. No body can deny it was a happy ending after all......but like the basilisk fang that struck Harry...the realisation that there are no more harry potter books to wait for and read them, I cant help but feel sad.

Harry had lived...Snape turns out to be the good guy after all (One or two tears did trickle down, when harry sees Snape's memories in the pensieve, especially when he says he has always cared for harry).... Harry Potter the last horcux..(which i refused to believe when people put forth the theory.....simply because i did not want Harry to die, which he had to if he was the last horcrux).


The book (the whole series of 7 books) which gave me the impetus to read and write has come to an end and at once a huge question pops up. Will there be any other book will be as anticipated as Harry Potter..a book which will be worth waiting for two whole years... a book that is going to break all the previous records...a book that will make the author one of the richest persons.....a book that children and adults alike would be hooked on till the end..... a book that has made the entire world plunge into another dimension......a book like Harry Potter.

Being a belligerent hoper (not hopper) I hope that there might be one!

An evening with an insane architect cousin

I have pondered over a lot, whether this blog should be titled "Next president of India" or "An evening with an insane architect cousin". One might assume that my cousin is insane, but what I actually meant is the architect in him is insane... not him! One might also wonder why "Next president of India" was a worthy contender of this blog. The photo at the end might give you an idea.

If you have a cousin who is an architect, take my advice never go out with him to any place which even remotely relates to a 'structure'. Let me tell you why.

My cousin was in Delhi for some registration of architects or something (no point elaborating it, since its not relevant to the story) and we planned (and executed to perfection) visits to two "architectural wonders" of Delhi - The India Gate and the Rashtrapati Bhavan. Ya..... I know there are other structures in Delhi (Red Fort, Qutub Minar etc) to which the title "architectural wonders" would have befitted better, but the nearest structures to "Palika Bazaar" (where u get all the pirated stuff) were these two and my cousin had to be content with them.

We arrived at the India Gate at 4 p.m. The moment I stepped into the shadow of the gate..I said"
"Wow"
My cousin replied
"Ya...wow"
"Awesome"
"Too good"
"Beautiful"
"Stunning"
"Breathtaking"
"Hot"
"I know the weather is hot Nrupesh, but look at the amazing , breathtaking monument"
"What are you talking about"
"The India Gate you fool"
"Oh! I thought you were referring to the hot girl in the red t-shirt over there... man.. she is hot"

Now you know, why I alluded to the insanity of the architect in him. Thats the difference between an architect and a chartered accountant. A chartered account can spot the correct figure in an ocean of correct and incorrect figures.

Let me tell you one characteristic which is common to a fashion photographer and an architect. The fashion photographer keeps clicking hundreds of photos of the model from every possible angle... and the architect emulates him.. the only difference being he takes photos of inanimate objects. How I wished I had a camera too at that moment....so many models at India Gate and no fashion photographer!

If you watch through the India Gate you can see the Rashtrapati Bhavan very clearly. Just because the second "architectural wonder" was clearly visible through the India Gate doesnt necessarily mean that its walking distance, which we were about to find out as we set out like two brave NCC cadets on Republic Day parade.

When we reached the residence of the President of India the architect in my cousin took over and all the adjectives starting raining like it was raining at the same moment in Mumbai. Once again the camera was out and once again photos were taken from every angle (even a monkey's photo... which I dont know how it came out of the parliament in spite of such tight security).

Exhausted from the long walk... we ended our "Tale of the two architectural wonders" and set off home.

Photos the probable candidates for presidency:

















Monkey which escaped from the parliament:















Scenic beauty for people who have the finer eye like my insane cousin:

My first blog!

This is my first blog!! I dont think i needed to say that because my title is self explanatory enough...... i did it because i dint know what to start with! Doesnt everyone resort to redundancy when they run of ideas or am i the only one who does that!! I personally think.. people tend to repeat stuff when there is nothing new to say... because i do that frequently and seen others doing it. Now that i have pronounced that lack of ideas=redundancy... i cant possible dwell on "this is my first blog" again and have to think of something novel to write.

This being my first blog, one cannot expect me to write pages and pages until they get bored like our infamous government employees. One might wonder.. whether i am a government employee? what am i doing writing my first blog ever during the peak of office hours? have i not got work to do? Well yes... i do not have any work. hey...............dont jump to conclusions..i am not a government employee, its just that i am new to my job and my seniors are good enough to do their work (and mine) themselves.. as they feel i should not bothered with trivial stuff like working....when i am doing important stuff like (not stuff like "saving the world" "eradication of poverty") writing MY FIRST BOLG